


Waxing Moon and Waning Freedom

by Elvenheart993



Series: Wolfsbane [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter), POV Remus Lupin, War, Werewolf, Werewolf Angst, Werewolf Remus Lupin, Young Remus Lupin, first wizarding war
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-15 06:41:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28934163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elvenheart993/pseuds/Elvenheart993
Summary: The Marauders are newly out of Hogwarts and into the front lines of a wizarding war. No longer under the protection of Dumbledore and the security of the Shrieking Shack, Remus faces life in a world unkind to werewolves while fighting to save it.Sequel to 'The Call of the Moon'Book 2 of the Wolfsbane Trilogy
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Series: Wolfsbane [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1929598
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	1. Constant Vigilance

The sun was just beginning to set as a figure strode quickly down the London street. It was almost empty save for the occasional passing car or muggles out and about for an evening stroll. The young man, dressed as indiscriminately as he could in jeans and a blue woolen vest over a plain, and very faded, white shirt, kept referring to a piece of paper, clutched tightly in his hands and glancing at the numbers on each door as he swiftly walked by.

Unable to Apparate to a location he was unfamiliar with, let alone during daylight hours in a muggle neighborhood, he had instead walked, using a locator spell to find his way to the correct street, from the Leaky Cauldron.

Twenty-six….twenty-eight. He stopped at the black wrought iron gate bearing the number twenty-eight in golden digits on the stone beside the mailbox. Nerves ran through the young wizard, but they did nothing to lessen the determination he had found. Still, though he was right on time at five minutes before eight, he couldn’t bring himself to go in.

Just as Remus glanced around, hoping his friends would arrive conveniently at the same time, a white Ford Escort pulled up at the pavement, parking just in front of the house. He grinned when he saw Sirius waving with a wild grin from the back window. The two doors opened and James stepped onto the concrete, struggled with the front seat for a minute before he figured out how to move it forward to let Sirius out and pinched his fingers in the door when it shut.

“And that is why I will not let you drive, James.” Lily tutted, locking her family’s car before walking around and patting James on the shoulder.

“What about me? Would you teach me?” Sirius grinned, earning a good-natured glare from the Muggle-born witch.

“Absolutely not. Unless you get your own car.”

“Nah, I have my eyes on…”

“-A motorcycle first.” Remus and James finished in unison, exchanging a knowing look.

“Lily, you got one too?” Remus asked, holding up his invitation to the meeting and Lily nodded as she tucked the car keys into her jacket pocket.

“I did.” She confirmed, and squealed loudly just as a huge purple bus screamed to a halt not a metre away from Sirius as he leapt out of it’s path. There was a surreal moment, when right between Remus and the bus, an elderly muggle couple walked straight through the vehicle, sparing only a cursory glance and a smile at the gathering of youths. Remus could not help but laugh out loud at how closely the muggle and wizarding world coincided and overlapped.

The old lady turned and stared at him and he hastily stopped his laughter and waved to them with a sheepish smile. “Sorry.”

“Twenty-eight Hamilton Terrace.” The conductor of the Knight Bus, a portly gentleman in a vibrant purple suit stepped onto the steps and a moment later Peter jumped from the bottom step onto the pavement with a hurried thanks to the conductor and driver.

“Oh good, you’re all here.” Relief was evident in Peter’s voice as he looked around at his friends with a sheepish grin. “I-I would be too nervous to go in alone.”

“Course you would.” Sirius chuckled, and led the way up the porch steps to the front door. Remus followed the others. As he stepped off the top step, a light tremor ran through his body. It was not unlike the sensation of stepping through a ghost, albeit without the chilling cold. They’d stepped into an enchantment, there was no mistaking that.

Sirius rang the bell and the five young wizards and a witch stood anxiously on the doorstep of their future. There was nothing for several moments, then out of the silence the door swung open.

A broad shouldered, sturdily built man answered the door. He had a thick mop of greying hair and in person, his face was so scarred and rough that it could almost have passed for a wooden replica as he stood there frowning at them. But the feature that caught everyone’s attention was the whizzing blue eye that spun wildly in its socket a few times before fixing itself on each of them individually.

“Bloody hell, Mad-Eye Moody in the flesh.” Sirius, grinning like a man possessed, appeared starstruck for the first time in his life as he stared at the Auror who was essentially a celebrity amongst the wizarding world.

“You were expecting me to be made of paper?” His voice was deep and gruff, almost low enough to be a growl as he sharply jerked his chin inside. “No one followed you did they?”

“No, sir.”

Remus caught sight of James’ hand twitching at his side and he had to fight hard to resist the urge to smile as he knew Prongs had almost saluted.

“Get inside.” The Auror growled, waving them in one after the other. “And next time come one at a time, it’s not as suspicious.”

Remus slipped between Sirius and Peter, second in line as they stepped through the narrow entrance half single file and followed the hum of chatter. He heard the clicking of several locks when the door closed behind them and Moody’s heavy footsteps lumber after them.

A few framed and moving photographs lined the walls. One a wedding picture, the bride and groom waving at him as he passed. In the next, a wriggling baby, screaming silently in its cradle. The third picture, nearest to the corner as they rounded it, was a young boy, five or six at the most grinning and running around the backyard with his father, the groom from the first picture, in pursuit.

They stepped into a kitchen and dining room lined with small brown and white tiles that separated the room from the carpeted hallway they’d just walked down. A large dining table filled half the space, and around it, sat and stood a dozen other witches and wizards whose conversation died down as the newcomers entered the room. Smiling over at them with his familiar twinkling blue eyes, stood Dumbledore in periwinkle robes at the head of the table.

“Ah, right on time. Ladies and gentleman, our newest volunteers. Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Lily Evans and James Potter.”

“Fresh outta Hogwarts by the look of ‘em.” The wizard that first rose to greet them was the man whose house they currently stood in. He had long mousy brown hair that fell to his shoulders in light waves and three day old stubble. He held out his hand to shake each of theirs in turn, and then waved them further into the room. “Caradoc Dearborn, you’re all very welcome.”

“You best be able to hold your own in a duel if you intend to become a part of the Order.” Moody growled, making Lily jump and whirl around to face him where he stood sentry directly behind her in the doorway.

“I can personally assure you of that, Alastor.” Dumbledore confidently vouched for them, “These are all very capable young magicians, in fact I believe that James and Sirius here have just been accepted into the Auror Training Program, am I correct?”

“Sure have.” The two brothers in all but blood replied in unison with equally proud expressions which quickly turned amused as they looked at each other in surprise.

“However,” Dumbledore continued and his face grew graver as he directly addressed them, “Alastor is right in that what you have expressed such admirable interest in joining, is far from merely having noble intentions.”

“We understand that.” Remus answered right away, a sentiment echoed in turn by each of his friends. “We know what might be involved.”

“Should we tell ‘em what ‘appened to Benjy last month?” A short wizard with raggedy ginger hair spoke up in a thick Cockney accent from where he leaned on the kitchen bench. Even before the man had opened his mouth Remus had crinkled his nose at the stench of tobacco and alcohol that filled the air before anyone else seemed to notice. He felt Lily’s eyes on him when he reacted, and then a few moments later Peter subtly stifled a cough.

“No need, I’m right here, Mundungus. Benjy Fenwick, pleasure ta have you here.” A short wizard, hardly taller than Professor Flitwick shouldered his way out into the open and the Cockney fellow, presumably Mundungus performed a mildly comical double take.

“Oh...didn’t see ya there…”

With a well placed jab to the ribs, Mundungus doubled over groaning as the wizard removed his pointed hat. They all winced in unison. Where the top of Fenwick’s head should have been was an enormous dent.The skin had healed over, likely with the help of essence of dittany and left behind a crater that would never be noticed under a hat. 

“Not to worry, not to worry, young blood.” Benjy quickly replaced his purple hat, “I was lucky to get out alive, and without too much permanent damage.”

Introductions were made quickly, so many names were thrown at him that Remus struggled to remember each witch and wizard that shook his hand and welcomed him to the table. Among them was Edgar Bones, a tall wizard with auburn hair greying on the sides who was high up in the Department for Magical Games and Sports; Dorcas Meadowes, a dark skinned witch with a no-nonsense face that reminded Remus of McGonagall; Dedalus Diggle, a comical little man from Kent whose shorter stature was compensated for by the absurdly large top hat he wore.    
Last of them, Sturgis Podmore, a young man in his early twenties with straw coloured hair pushed his way to the front and shook all their hands heartily. Only three years their senior, he’d been Gryffindor’s new prefect and Captain of the Quidditch team when the Marauders had been in their second year at school.

“Blimey, been a few years now! Great to have you all here, Gryffindors through and through, ‘eh?”

“Sturgis! It’s good to see a familiar face…” James grinned, clapping the older wizard on the shoulder. 

“Hey, I will vouch for each one of these folks too.” Sturgis grinned around at the rest of the Order, “Especially the best bloody Chaser Gryffindor ever had.” 

Remus could not help smirking a little when Peter rolled his eyes behind their backs. 

“Well then, now we are all acquainted…” Dumbledore began after the five had introduced themselves,   
“Hold on.” Dorcas interrupted and stepped forward until she stood toe to toe with an unflinching Sirius. “Sirius  _ Black? _ We’re just going to let one of that rotten lot in? They might not be officially Death Eaters but they’re pretty bloody close.”

“Yes.” The tension was clear in Sirius’ voice as he squarely faced the witch. “They are. I’m the first person who’ll agree with that. I always have been.”

“If I see no reason to doubt this young man’s motives, then nor should you, Dorcas.” The half-moon spectacles slid down his long nose as Dumbledore spoke but the orange-clad witch did not move.

“And don’t forget that Andromeda is nothing like her sisters. We know for certain that she is not one of them or she wouldn’t have married a muggle-born.” Emmeline Vance, a former Beater for the Holyhead Harpies, added. 

“Still...doesn’t Moody always say constan-”

“Constant  _ vigilance _ , Meadowes, not constant  _ judgement _ .” The senior Auror growled, his one real eye glaring until the witch huffed and backed down. “And we’ll see how they go before we’ll let them right in, isn’t that right, Dumbledore?”

“Quite.” The Grand Sorcerer nodded slowly. “I have confidence they shall prove themselves every bit as capable and sincere as the rest of you have. Now perhaps we should return to the matter at hand?” He waited until the conversation had died down and Dorcas had returned to her seat. “We are vastly outnumbered in our cause, and that is why we must stay ahead of where Voldemort and his followers expect us to be. It is vital, for the sake of innocent lives, that we better anticipate their movements. I have it on good authority that the Spiny Serpent in Knockturn Alley is being used as a meeting place.”

“Tha’s right.” Mundungus Fletcher interjected, pulling a flask from his inside jacket pocket and taking a sip. “Seen a ‘eap of ‘em go in there in masks. Recognised a couple of ‘em, Lestrange and his wife, Malfoy at least once, I’d know that mop’a blonde anywhere.”

“We have yet to gain entry, and Mundungus cannot be stationed outside much longer for his own safety. He’s too easily recognised.”

“Too bleeding right, barely got away wiv me life last time.”

“I haven’t done the Knockturn Alley shift in some time…” Dedalus volunteered only for Sturgis to scoff loudly at him. 

“Yeah, because no one recognises your hat…”

“I wouldn’t wear it undercover, you dolt.”

“I’ll do it.”

All eyes in the room turned to Sirius when he spoke up, and Remus’ eyebrows disappeared into his hair that was getting far too long. Even more surprising however was Peter, who up until that point had been chewing on his nails nervously.    
“I’ll go too…”

“Your enthusiasm is admirable…” Dumbledore began, smiling kindly at the young men who so boldly volunteered. “But until you have a little more experience outside Hogwarts, I think it best-”

“They have a point, Dumbledore.” Moody interrupted, his eyes darting critically between Sirius and Peter. “No one’s gonna suspect they’re a part of the Order already.”

“No one will suspect anything because we won’t be seen at all. I can promise you that.” Sirius, without a trace of doubt in his mind soon added, “And I’ll bet one of us could get inside too.”

“Unless you have an invisibility cloak, I doubt they’re about to let two kids just wander into their pub.” 

Remus and James exchanged the briefest of glances across the table.

“Look...you want me to prove myself?” Sirius glared at Dorcas and then elbowed Peter in the ribs and turned back to Dumbledore. “Let us try. You won’t be sorry.”

“I say we let ‘em.” Moody nodded his assent. His magical eye had remained trained on the two boys since Sirius had first spoken up and for a moment Remus wondered if somehow he could tell what they were keeping secret. Of course Sirius was right to be sure they wouldn’t be seen. A mangy dog and a rat were hardly going to be out of place in Knockturn Alley.

After a long minute of consideration, the Founder of the Order of the Phoenix folded his left hand carefully over his right and dipped his head. “Very well...Sirius and Peter will go. James, perhaps you would be interested in joining Emmeline and Sturgis in their next air patrol, your skill with a broom is indeed undeniable.”

“Can never have too many great flyers on our side.” Emmeline smiled warmly.

James could not have looked more pleased. Lily squeezed his hand fondly and, presumably from force of habit raised her hand slowly. There were a few chuckles through the room as she remembered where she was and cleared her throat.

“Sorry. I just wondered, how many of their identities are known if they wear masks and hoods?”

“Publicly known? Few, only the particularly brazen ones are common knowledge and even then...the Ministry struggles for concrete proof to send them to Azkaban. Like Bellatrix Lestrange, we know that cackle anywhere but that won’t put her away.” Caradoc replied, his brow furrowing as he exchanged a glance with his fellow Auror. “That’s where we come in.”

“We have a list of those we know and those we suspect but can’t necessarily prove without rolling up their sleeves and checking.” Dorcas added “...Suffice to say we are grossly outnumbered.”

“Don’t scare them, Dorcas…” Dedalus chided, offering a sympathetic look to Lily.

“They need to know the numbers, Diggle. It’s just facts.”

“I’m not scared.” Lily chimed in, her face as determined and stubbornly steadfast as it had ever been.

“Outnumbered or not, we have skill and secrecy on our side. Both of those things are more important than sheer numbers. I’ve seen Moody come out the victor against  _ eight _ others at once in a duel.” There was an air of awe and respect in Sturgis’ voice that was echoed by a low whistle from Sirius. 

Moody just grunted and tapped his nose, there was a noticeable chunk missing. “True.”

“Voldemort’s followers seem to have employed a ‘one at a time’ strategy, picking at the ones they know of bit by bit.” Dumbledore explained, “I’m afraid Marlene McKinnon is still in recovery from the torture inflicted on her last week by means of the Cruciatus Curse. Edgar nobly exposed his own identity in the process of rescuing her. As such, unless absolutely necessary for a particular task, the Order does not work alone.”

“I have one more thing to ask ‘em.” Moody leaned over the table, his palms flat on its surface as he looked each of them in the eye once more. “Are you willing to risk your life to stop this madman?” 

One by one, Moody fixed both eyes on them until they assented unwaveringly. Peter alone did not speak but nodded anxiously and that seemed to satisfy the Auror enough because he leaned back with a grunt. 

“Very well...you’ll all be informed of the time and place of our next meeting. As always...eyes and ears open.” Chairs and stools scraped against the floor as wizards and witches began to stand and disperse. 

Remus rose from his seat, his heart beating twice as fast with the realisation of what they had all just gotten involved in. Still, danger and risk aside, there was no doubt at all in his mind that it was the right thing to do. 

Just as he took a step towards the doorway, a hand on his shoulder spun him around.

“A word, Lupin.” Mad-Eye said gruffly and before Remus could do more than exchange a surprised look with his friends, he had been pushed into the living room of Caradoc’s home, the host of the house, courteously leaving them to it.

“Is there something the matt-” 

“Wait, shut it.” Moody interrupted and Remus couldn’t help staring as his magical eye swiveled in it’s socket to stare out the back of his head while his one human eye still stayed fixed on Remus. It was impossible not to look at it. In a second Moody had turned and opened the door again.    
Sirius, having been leaning right up against it, fell forward and barely managed to catch himself.

“You’ll find it is impossible to eavesdrop on my conversations, Black.” The Auror growled and glanced at Lily, James and Peter behind him. “Your friend will meet you outside.”

His tendency to assume the worst immediately kicked in and Remus felt his throat begin to constrict in panic. He had only just met the man, what could Moody possibly want a private word with him about? Was he not the right material to join the Order of the Phoenix? He was smart, he could fly relatively well, and, despite how he hated to sing his own praises, he was damn good in a duel and with spellwork. Should he have volunteered to go to Knockturn Alley? But then Lily and James hadn’t volunteered for anything so that couldn’t be the problem.

“Now…” Moody growled a minute later when he was satisfied they would not be overhead, effectively silencing Remus’ internal monologue of panic. “Is there somethin’ you wanna tell me?”

“I…” Unsure of how to answer that, he merely opened and closed his mouth a few times, his green eyes flicking away from Moody’s unnerving stare to the carpeted floor. “No, sir. But I have no reservations or anything, I  _ want  _ to be here.”

“Not about that, kid.” The Auror huffed and rolled his good eye. “Anything you might be...hiding? A particular skill set for example?”

He knew. How, Remus had no idea, but he knew. There was a glint of something in Moody’s unmagical eye that said quite clearly that he knew. Still, in some vain hope that he was wrong and Moody really hadn’t guessed the truth, Remus played ignorant.    
“Well, I’m a good dueller, I’m great with spell-”

“Oh stop playing me for a fool. We both know what I’m talkin’ about. I’m just giving you a chance to tell me yourself.”

The young werewolf’s heart sank through his shoes. This was it. He was about to be thrown out before he could really be of any use because of the part of him that had destroyed any possibility of a real life.    
“Did Dumbledore tell you?” He spoke so softly that he barely heard himself and Moody had to lean closer to hear before shaking his head of shaggy greying hair and leaning back.

“Dumbledore didn’t need to tell me a thing. You don’t get to the top of my field without knowing what one of you looks like. Now…” He dragged the ottoman over with his foot and took a seat, fixing Remus with a firm look. “Wanna admit it yourself?”

There was no avoiding it now. The words circled around and around in his mind as he struggled to say them outloud. Despite being a werewolf for longer than he could remember, he’d rarely had to actually use the words himself. All those who had found out, had worked it out without his admittance. Dumbledore, James, Sirius, Peter, even Lily, and, still to his fear of exposure, Snape. Although the latter had been admittedly caused by Sirius.    
It felt as though he stood there silently for hours for as long as it took to summon the courage to speak but at last he did. 

“Yes. I am...a werewolf.” He muttered, the shame at his lycanthropic condition came flooding back in all its pain the moment he admitted it aloud. He waited, his heart pounding loudly in his chest for Moody to throw him out of the house and tell him they had no use for someone like him, but no shouting came. 

The Auror just sat there, his eyes fixed on Remus and his expression unreadable for a long silent moment until he grunted and nodded. “Good.”

Convinced he had misheard him, Remus turned quickly and stared at Moody in surprise. “Good? You’re not going to say I don’t belong?”

“Listen, Lupin, I have met enough werewolves in my days to know that for most of ‘em? They don’t want to be the way they are. You’re no different.” Moody continued, “And most of ‘em? Too afraid of the stigma to stand up for anything. That’s where you  _ are _ different ‘cause you picked the right side.” He rose to his feet with a small grunt of effort and scanned the scars on Remus’ face. “I was there thirteen years ago in Greyback’s interrogation. I was there when Lyall’s infamous outburst had him thrown out of that courtroom. And I’ll bet any amount of galleons it was Greyback that infected you after that, hm?”

“It was.” Remus confirmed, his throat rapidly drying. “I was five.”

“Well then...Voldemort might have werewolves on his side, and he definitely bloody well does, but looks like you’re one we don’t have to worry about.” 

“Please don’t tell anyone. My friends know, and...of course Dumbledore knows but…”

“I ain’t gonna tell the others if you don’t want me to.” Moody scoffed, “But they won’t judge you for it, ya know? Well…” He paused and grunted a little “Some might, Mundungus definitely but they’re a decent enough lot not to hold it against you. You know what I hear when you say you’re a werewolf?”

“Bloodthirsty monster?” It was only half sarcastic, despite the twitch in Remus’ lip. It was certainly what he thought of himself, and Moody was an Auror, arguably the best in the world, he’d certainly faced monsters like him in the past.

“Hm…I see…no.” Mad-Eye took a moment to note the critical self assessment before impatiently waving it by and jabbed Remus so hard in the chest with his finger that he had to take a rapid step backwards to keep from toppling backward. “I hear bloody good tracker and physically stronger than most of the people that were in that room, despite how...long and lanky you look.”

“Thank you.” The relief must have been obvious in his voice because Moody’s lips twitched the slightest amount that on anyone else might have been a smirk. Remus finally allowed himself to relax. He wasn’t being turned away, if anything there was one more person who despite having just met, was arguably the most trustworthy ally to have besides Dumbledore, that he didn’t have to hide it from.

The Auror grunted and stepped backwards. “Good. Then this conversation is over. Now get out before anyone gets suspicious.”

Just as the young man turned to go, his hand on the door handle, the Scottish brogue of Moody stopped him again. 

“And Lupin?” Moody hadn’t turned around but Remus knew his magical eye was staring at him through the back of his skull. “Don’t think that Greyback won’t try to recruit ya. He definitely will.”

“I know...I assumed as much.”

“Right...constant vigilance.”


	2. Independence

“Remus, I really don’t see the need for this so soon…where are you going to go?”

“I’ll figure it out. Don’t worry about me.” Remus sighed, laying down the Daily Prophet, open to the page of flats for rent on the kitchen table. He couldn’t afford anything in there yet, but it didn’t stop him looking. In the meantime, while he saved, he would make do if he had to.

“I am your father, I will always worry about you, like it or not.”

“Look Sirius has said I can stay with him, he already has a flat lined up, until I sort something out.”

Lyall crossed his arms and stepped directly into his son’s line of sight to make him look at him, “Then why don’t you just stay at home until you’ve settled, Remus, you’re only eighteen what is the rush?”

“Dad…” Remus stood, and placed his hand on his father’s shoulder, as though their roles were reversed “I will manage. I have a job lined up, I went to see them today.”

There was a brief moment of satisfaction in which his father looked completely taken by surprise, quickly replaced by the realisation that he was going to have to elaborate now. 

“You do? Where? Remus I really don’t think a job in the Ministry is a good idea-”

“You do realise, Dad, that there are other places to work outside the Ministry?” Remus went quiet and, leaving the Daily Prophet where it lay turned and headed upstairs, hoping in vain to escape the conversation. 

It worked for about thirty seconds before his father followed him down the hall and slipped his hand between the door and its frame before Remus could escape into his bedroom. “What’s the job, son?”

“...Eeylops. Taking care of and...cleaning up after the owls.” Before Lyall could protest further Remus raised an exasperated hand and soon added, “I know what I’m doing, dad. It’s a low profile job, people hardly need to see me. It will be alright.” 

“...I suppose you’re right.” Lyall relented, appearing to lose the will to argue for a moment and when Remus stepped away from the door, he took the opportunity to let himself into his son’s bedroom. “You need to make your own living...but I don’t understand why you need to move away so quickly. Stay. Find your feet first.” He insisted, sitting down on the foot of Remus’ bed and sparing a pained look at the family photograph on his nightstand. 

Only two weeks had passed since his days at Hogwarts had come to their end, there was hardly a rush in anyone else’s eyes to move out of their parent’s homes. Sirius, who did not want to impose upon the Potters further than their kindness had already allowed and who had come into a great deal of money at the bequeathment of his Uncle Alphard, had already obtained a place of his own and Remus knew Peter would not be far behind when he saved enough. James would soon have enough planning on his mind when he inevitably proposed to Lily, which Remus suspected would not be far away. For Remus, his decision to leave his father’s house when he finished school had been made long ago. It was not about having a place to go, or money to support himself, it was entirely out of guilt for the life he had robbed his father of.   
If it weren’t for Remus’ uncontrollable nature as a werewolf, they would never have had to spend so much money on a new home every few months, his parents would have had a regular life, raising a regular child. He would have had childhood friends and his parents would have neighbours. Lyall could have risen back to prominence within the Ministry instead of keeping a low, safe profile. They wouldn’t have been prematurely grey and thin with worry about him, the Lupins could have had a peaceful life. But now, though a widower, perhaps his father could still have that. 

“I can’t be a burden on you anymore, Dad.” He said at last, leaning back against the door and crossing his arms over his chest, “Please don’t say I’m not. I am. Or...that part of me is, that’s why I’m gonna go.”

“Remus…” 

“You can’t really stop me, can you? It’s not like you won’t see me again, I just won’t...live here. You won’t have to hide anything from anyone anymore. It’s a good thing.”

There was a long silence, in which neither father nor son moved from their positions. Their expressions mirrored each other, and while Remus was the spitting image of his maternal grandfather at that age, in that moment he looked exactly like Lyall. 

“Well...when do you plan on going?” Lyall spoke softly after a long while, silent long enough for Remus to move and sit beside him. His eyes were fixed to the floor now, hardly glancing at Remus. 

“As soon as I can. Maybe tomorrow, but...the sooner I move out, the sooner you can get on with your own life, Dad. I know how much you sacrificed to keep me safe.” And the world would be safe  _ from _ him for that matter. Now it was in his charge. His father wouldn’t have to spend all his money on safety precautions and bogus cures in his desperation to help him. 

“And what will you do on the full moon? Where will you go then?” 

“Somewhere secluded. I’m more than capable of putting up the right charms. I’ll manage.” And he knew that just because his Hogwarts days were over, his friends would still insist on assuming their Animagus forms to keep him company and distracted. 

Guilt pricked at Remus’ conscience as he looked over at his father. Lyall’s shoulders had slumped, the fight to convince his son to stay at home gone from him and replaced with resignation and reluctant acceptance. But it would soon enough be too dangerous for him to live close to his father. Lycanthropy aside, he’d joined the Order of the Phoenix to fight against Voldemort, and those Dark Wizards were hardly merciful. They wiped out entire families of those who opposed them and got in their way...even those who didn’t. When Remus was found to be a member, his father would become a target. He didn’t even dare to tell his father about that. For his own safety, and the peace that his father well deserved, Remus had to go.

“Come on...it’s a good thing.” Remus tried, leaning and nudging Lyall’s shoulder with his own as he pasted on a smile for his father’s benefit, “Mum always wanted me to have my own life.”

“I know…” A soft, if slightly pained, chuckle rumbled in Lyall’s throat as he lifted his head and nodded slowly. “I’m just going to miss you. I know it’s a small house, but it still feels too big for one. Look, son….I’m sorry I could never give you much. You should have had a better life, a better childhood than you did, it’s entirely my own doing that you couldn’t.” 

“Dad-”

“No...no I let you speak, you can hear me out too.” Lyall arched an eyebrow until Remus closed his mouth and sighed, “I was so desperate to find a cure for you, that I blew it...I blew it all chasing ridiculous rumours despite my better judgement and I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine...you know I’ve never cared how much we have.”

“That alone, Remus, makes you better than a  _ lot _ of other people out there. But that does not excuse the mistakes I’ve made.” Lyall interrupted and as he turned to face his son, Remus saw only a soft resilience there that was seldom found in his father. “Let me try and make up for a little now.” He clapped Remus on the shoulder and rose with a soft grunt. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

As his father left the room Remus sighed and leaned forward, running his fingers through his untidy hair. It hung in a sandy brown mop past his ears now and tickled at the back of his neck. His mother’s voice telling him he needed a haircut drifted through his head and fondly his lips twitched a little. Only a minute passed before his father stepped back through the doorway carrying a small leather pouch. There was no mistaking the faint jingling that came from it and immediately Remus rose to meet him.

“Dad, no. You don’t need to give me anything…”

“And _ you _ don’t need to leave home. You will let me do this much.” 

Before Remus could step away and turn away from the offer, his father had taken his hand and pressed the pouch of coins firmly into it.   
“I’ve had it put by just in case we needed to...well you know.” In case he destroyed the house and they needed to make another quick getaway, Remus filled in in his head. “It’ll be enough to see you through for a few months until you get yourself started up.

“Dad…”

“Remus John Lupin, you will take this money or you will find a room paid for the next two months at the Leaky Cauldron in your name, either way, I will do this for you.” 

Remus gaped, and closed his jaw and dropped it again silently several times as his father stared him down with more conviction than he’d ever seen before. A dominant part of him, the part that James would call the most Gryffindorish Gryffindor, wanted to reject the money and say that his father deserved to finally live the comfortable life that he could now without Remus around. The other, quieter part of him screamed at him to take the money and let his father make right what he thought he had done so wrong.

Slowly, the weight of the coin purse feeling far heavier than it truly was, Remus closed his hand around the small bag and nodded. At least it did not feel so much like charity coming from his own family. “Thank you.” He said finally, his voice heavy with equal parts guilt and sincerity.    
He was immediately drawn into a warm embrace, and though he were only leaving his father’s house, somehow it felt like a true goodbye.

xxxXxxx

With two months rent paid in advance due to the generosity of his father a simple room in the Leaky Cauldron became Remus’ temporary home. It was plain and sparsely furnished, but unlike his friends, Remus was accustomed to a more humble style of living. Beneath the window that overlooked London, was a plain wooden desk and chair, which already Remus had stacked high with books and parchment. On the adjacent wall was a simple wardrobe, which creaked and groaned as though the wood itself was protesting every time the door opened. Lyall’s old trunk, which had become Remus’ when he left for Hogwarts, rested open at the foot of the double bed, blanketed in a patchwork quilt of forest green and grey.    
For the first time in eighteen years, Remus felt like he was truly independent at last. Now he simply needed to hold down a job so he could keep the place.

Eeylops Owl Emporium was a small and cramped little shop at 521 Diagon Alley. The nocturnal nature of the creatures sold there meant that the shop was kept dim and dark which would suit Remus just fine on the days preceding and following the full moon. The bell above the door jingled as he stepped in and the screech owl in the cage nearest the door let out an indignant hoot as daylight briefly shone in its eyes. 

“Just a moment!” A voice called from somewhere beyond the cages, accompanied by a heavy beating of wings and the squeak of hinges as a window closed somewhere in the back. A snowy owl hooted softly and nestled its round head further beneath a wing as Remus passed by. A lean, bald man stepped out of the back room and appeared behind the counter. It was the manager that Remus had interviewed with, Periwinkle Goodborn He wore a dusty blue apron spotted with owl droppings over dark robes and looked visibly relieved to see Remus. “Ah! Splendid, lad. Not a moment too soon, come through, come through.” He ushered the young wizard around. “I just had to nip out the back to the postal birds, that’s just as much an important part of this place, making sure those owls are ready at all times for an urgent delivery. Within business hours of course. Now, you said you were good with birds?”

“I’m good with animals.”

“Excellent, because I have a particularly troublesome little owl here.” Periwinkle lifted a bronze cage hanging from the ceiling in the dimly lit backroom, kept dark for the owls, and placed it on a large crate of owl pellets. The occupant, a brown and white speckled owl about the size of Remus’ hand flapped around, ignoring the untouched dish of food. “Won’t eat a thing or let me come near enough to find out what the matter is. I doubt you will fare better than I, but please, do try.”

Remus sidled past and knelt on the floor beside the cage. The little owl hooted and swiveled its head away, uninterested even in looking at the wizards. The bell in the shop tinkled, and leaving Remus to do what he could to see to the ill bird, Periwinkle ambled back into the shopfront.

“What’s the problem then?” The younger wizard murmured quietly as he unlatched the cage door and reached inside. The owl hopped backwards away from his outstretched hand and hooted loudly when Remus prodded its wings gently. He winced a little when the beak, deceptively sharp for such a small bird, jabbed hard into his hand. Something was off, he could actually smell it. Quite apart from the stench of dirty feathers and bird droppings that had struck his sensitive nose the moment he walked in the door, clean as it was possible for the store to be, this particular one smelt odd.   
“Easy there.” He hushed it gently until it allowed him to gently pick it up in one hand, pinning its wings gently to its side so it didn’t struggle and draw it from the cage. Carefully Remus lifted one wing and then the other. The owl was thinner than it ought to have been, it hadn’t eaten for several days and there was a definite odour of sickness about it. There were few perks to being a werewolf, but enhanced senses was one of them, at least most of the time. As he raised the right wing the little owl screeched and wriggled in his grip before dissolving into hacking noises that sounded like coughing. That was when Remus saw it, the little spot beneath its wing and when it turned wide yellow eyes on him, the milkiness of the pupils. 

“It’s Avian Tuberculosis.” He said aloud, knowing without turning around that his new employer had re entered the room. Soothingly he ran a tender finger over the little brown feathered head and turned to offer a half smile. “My friend’s owl had it. Have you kept it separate from the other birds?”

“Well done, lad, you really must know your birds.” Goodborn clapped him on the shoulder and, uncomfortable with praise, Remus simply ducked his head and returned the ill owl to its cage. “Of course I knew that, one comes across the disease when you’re in this line of work. Good job. Fast diagnosis.” A curious expression flickered across Periwinkle’s face, his eyes the same colour as his name widened slightly. “You could get an traineeship in the Ministry quite easily with smarts like that.”

For a moment, Remus reached for words, and, lame as it seemed he soon settled for a brief smile and “I like owls.”

xxxXxxx

“Get out of it, you mutt!” The black dog yelped and snarled as a heavy booted foot collided with its shoulder and pushed it out of the way. It snapped at the heels of the raggedy clad culprit and trotted further along the window of Borgin and Burkes before dropping furry behind first into a puddle of what was most definitely not water and almost certainly urine. Padfoot huffed and readjusted his position. He sat mostly in the shadows, directly across the Alley from one of Knockturn Alley’s many disreputable pubs, the Spiny Serpent. Lowering his head on his forepaws with a low whine he kept his eyes focused on the pub, only taking them away just long enough to glance at the rat that had settled at his side.    
  
Knockturn Alley was filled with all manner of characters, dark witches and wizards that met contacts and purchased supplies that no respecting vendor in Diagon Alley would sell for potions that no one else would dare to make. There were strange folk here. A man who was almost as large as Hagrid, a witch whose entire left side was shrivelling like an Egyptian mummy and whom had snakes crawling from her sleeves, a few goblins and one tall, unnaturally pale ambiguous being whom Padfoot was convinced was a vampire though they never passed close enough to see their teeth. He didn’t much care for Knockturn Alley.   
A bone flew from a window above twenty minutes later and clattered at the dog’s paws. Canine form or not, Sirius could not bring himself to eat raw meat. It unnerved him enough when Remus did that, and he had a perfectly acceptable reason. He dismissed the bone with a disinterested puff of air and rose to his paws, nudging the rat which still had not moved, with one paw and trotted over to the other side of the cobblestone alley pouncing playfully on occasion on the rodents that littered the street.    
Another hour passed in relative ease until at last the shaggy black dog woofed softly and lifted his head. Four figures in identical black robes had swept to the Spiny Serpent’s door. They all wore silver masks to hide their faces and some wore hoods to cover their hair. Two did not. The first knocked twice on the door. A grill slid open and the wizard leaned forward, presumably to whisper a password that Padfoot could not read their lips to distinguish. Then one of the witches turned around, and her hood fell from her mass of black curls. She looked right across the alley and straight at the dog. Though he could not see her face, he did not need to to know who that hair belonged to. A low growl began to rumble deep in his throat. He would recognise cousin Bellatrix miles away. He raised himself up on his forepaws, sitting and ready to leap and bite her out of sheer hatred. But then the door to the bar swung open and she turned away and entered with her Death Eater comrades. Wormtail squeaked at his paw as Padfoot slowly sat back down. He’d been too distracted by hatred for his cousin that he hadn’t bought the distraction he needed to. That was fine. There would be another chance. This was the first shot they had to prove their usefulness to the Order, no one needed to know how they remained unseen as long as they succeeded tonight.    
There it was. Another masked figure swept around the corner, garbed the same as the rest and Padfoot briefly mused that Death Eaters were an unimaginative lot. He bounded to all fours, and with a practiced ease, favoured his left forepaw and limped across the alleyway, whining towards the hooded figure as he raised a hand to knock on the door. He snuffled at the man’s side, whining loudly for help until the wizard turned around and roughly tried to wave the dog away. 

Padfoot woofed softly, and sniffed at the man’s ankle, waving his faux injured paw in the air and pawing at his leg, growling when he received an impatient shove in return. “Get off, mutt. Keep your fleas to yourself.” That voice. He knew that voice. He growled again and snapped at the corner of the Death Eater’s robes as the door to the Spiny Serpent opened to admit him. He backed up, hopping on three paws as Severus Snape vanished into the pub, completely oblivious to the small brown rat that scampered in at his feet. 

xxxXxxx

“Snape. It was Snape. I  _ knew _ he would...bloody hell, we’re not even in school anymore and he’s still on the bad side.” Sirius growled, taking an enormous bite out of an apple and joining the others in the living area of his generously sized flat. 

“Severus? He really  _ did _ join them?” Lily sighed and ran a frustrated hand through her hair as she gathered back into a ponytail.    
There was lavender in her shampoo, it wafted over the air to Remus’ sensitive nose where he sat pouring over a map of the magical United Kingdom and he glanced up with a raised eyebrow. “Are you surprised?”

“I wish I could say that I was. How do you know? How did you get close enough to see his face, I thought they wore masks?”

“It was him, I was there too.” Peter confirmed, “And...I  _ did _ see his face.”

“That answered neither of my questions.”

“Long story, Lily.” Sirius dismissed, ignoring the glare she was shooting him, “Anyway we got an owl off to Dumbledore and Moody, thanks for that by the way Moony,”

“Don’t mention it.”

“So I think the only thing ol’Volde is gonna find in that house is a load of Aurors ready and waiting.” 

“Talking of Aurors,” Peter segued unusually smoothly, “Shouldn’t James be back from the Ministry by now?”

“Any minute, he went with Caradoc Dearborn and Frank on a call out last minute. Did I mention that the Auror program is bloody awesome?” Sirius answered as Lily consulted her wristwatch. “Don’t worry Lil, he promised to meet us here. He’d never stand you up.” 

Right on cue, the front door opened and a dishevelled and somewhat out of sorts looking James stepped in. He wore the long black cloak and dark trousers of the Aurors with a trainee badge pinned to his chest that Sirius had already changed out of, and his glasses were slightly askew with the rush of Apparition. He paused first to place a hand on Lily’s shoulder and kiss the top of her head tenderly before dropping wearily onto Sirius’ couch.

“Rough day?” Lily rose and moved over to join her boyfriend, fixing his glasses for him and taking one of his hands in her own as James just nodded tiredly.

“Yeah, some missing kids turned up. Young, about ten or so.”

“Dead? Death Eaters are going after  _ children _ ?”

“I’m sure they are, but this wasn’t them.” James hesitated, drawing the gaze of everyone in the room but particularly Remus as he clarified, “Werewolves.” 

“But the full moon was days ago?” Peter squeaked. 

“That’s the thing about corpses.” Remus muttered as his very blood seemed to run cold in his veins, “They don’t tend to move by themselves.”

“What about Inferi?-Not the point, sorry.” Sirius shut up when Remus and James both turned to glare at him.

“The girl was alive. The boy was... _ really _ not, he was clearly killed by the transformation itself. All mangled and twisted up, pointed ears, fur, but not quite wolf.” Lily grew visibly disturbed the more detail that James explained, until a shudder ran through her and he stopped for her sake. Quite conversationally he added, “Your dad was there, Remus.”

“You can’t help but imagine it...what a horrible way to die…” Lily’s whispers were so soft that only James in close proximity and Remus, with his heightened senses, picked it up. “Those poor kids must have been terrified.”

“I don’t need to imagine it.” Remus felt sick to his stomach as he thought about it, he remembered in every vivid detail how traumatic the transformation was for a little boy, and it never got easier. “That boy died in agony. And the girl will live with it.” 

“Woah, Moony...you wanna ease up on my table there?”

He hadn’t even realised he was doing it, but the moment Sirius spoke Remus’ eyes shot to his left hand. He’d been gripping the edge of the table so hard that when he snapped out of it and let go, there were notches so deep they resembled claw marks. It served as another frightening reminder that if he did not keep a tight check on his emotions, he hardly knew his own strength. “Sorry…”


	3. Proposals

"Tonight was lovely, James."

"Yeah? Much nicer than the last time I had dinner with your family...specifically your brother in law." James grinned, "I can't tell you how glad I am that they didn't turn up."

Lily cringed and slid her arm through the crook of his and leaned up against him as they strolled down the street. "Do let's not talk about that. I'm not sure I'll ever quite recover."

"Do you think I made a convincing muggle to the waiter this time?"

"Well you didn't talk about your racing broom so loudly that the next table over thought you were barmy." Lily giggled, and pressed a soft kiss to James' stubbled cheek. "But my parents both love you…"

"-As long as I promise never to drive while they're in the car." James finished and the pair both dissolved into chuckles as Lily's white Ford Escort came into view with one wheel up on the curve. Lily's hand slipped from his elbow and reached into the pocket of his long dark coat.  
"I think I'll be driving home, thank you...hey!" Hastily James side stepped out of her reach, knocking her hand from his pocket where she searched for the keys and taking it in his own instead. "I just thought we'd take a stroll. Bushy Park isn't far."

"Not far? It's the other side of Lon-"

"Not far for _us_." He clarified and with a cursory glance around grinned cheekily and pulled Lily into a narrow alleyway, out of sight of passing muggles, pulled her to his chest and spun on his heel before she could protest the side-along apparition. A moment of discomfort and the couple reappeared on the pavement. The bubbling of water sounded from the large fountain that stood central in the paved area whilst branches in the surrounding trees swayed in the autumn breeze, the few leaves they still clung to falling loose.

"James! Don't be so reckless with your Apparition, anyone could have been about." Lily tutted, slapping his chest good naturedly and obviously trying to hide her smile when he just leaned forward and tried to kiss her instead.

"Yeah, but they weren't." He grinned, stealing a peck on the lips and then jumping up to balance on the edge of the fountain, arms out slightly either side to keep his footing "It's nice out here in the evening."

"Look at you, quite the model muggle man. Popping in and out of nowhere aside-oh!" A sudden gust of wind swept up behind them, leaving James wobbling on one foot and Lily's soft black velvet hat flying away. They gave chase, gleeful laughter ringing out as the hat retrieval mission quickly turned into a game of who could reach it first as it landed softly down in a bush. Lily shrieked as she jumped for it, snatching the brim just as James' hand closed on nothing and waving it in the air triumphantly above her head. His hand fell away, and he stepped backwards, a peculiar expression suddenly crossing his face as James stared at her like he was seeing her for the first time.

"What?" She panted, her breath making little puffs of air in the chill, "Giving up already, Potter?"

"Far from it." James answered, a slow smile spreading back over his face as he reached out and took her free hand, "I have a present for you, Lil."

"Another one? James you know that I don't love you because you have money." She teased, but for once James did not laugh as he reached into his pocket and drew from it a small satin bag in plain silver. Curiously, Lily took it, her warm green eyes staying fixed on James' strange expression for an extra moment as she reached inside and drew from within a small golden ball. "What is this? A snitch?"

"Not _just_ a snitch. Give it a moment." Nerves suddenly filled the Quidditch star's voice and his glasses slid a little down his nose as he began to sweat just a little. He never took his eyes off Lily's beautiful ones when she fixed her gaze on the ball as it began to twist and open under her touch and while she focused on that, while her eyes widened in and her mouth formed a perfect 'o', James sunk to one knee.

"From the moment we met, I knew you would be part of my life. I know we were eleven, and I had no idea that you would eventually become _all_ of my life." He began with a shaking breath as his beloved tore her gaze away from the ring and down to him, "You are without a shadow of a doubt, the kindest, fiercest and most incredibly talented witch and woman I will ever know. You changed me into the man that I am now from the stupid and selfish boy you rightfully hated. I can't imagine any life that doesn't have you at the centre, Lily Evans." Here he paused for a long breath and found himself fighting watering eyes. "Will you marry me?"

The ring that rested inside the golden snitch was simple but all the more beautiful for it. The band was of purest silver that twisted and braided itself over the top and culminated in an imperfectly cut ruby, made perfect in its imperfection. One diamond was set either side of the central stone and sparkled in the last of the day's sunlight. Lily's eyes sparkled too with unshed tears as she gazed at James, on his knees and asking for her hand. No answer had ever come easier or more freely to her mind. Seven years ago she hated him, and now she could not imagine living without him around.  
"Yes...yes of course I will…"

Relief washed over the wizard, and a grin broke out over his face as Lily drew him up to his feet by his own scarf and kissed him with so much passion that it felt like the first time they'd kissed all over again. They were both sniffling a little, and he couldn't tell if the happy tears that soaked his cheek were his own or Lily's. The snitch, its flesh memory cleverly used dropped in two halves to the pavement as, with still slightly shaking fingers, he placed the ring on her left ring finger and lovingly brushed a strand of red hair behind her ear. "Dance with me."

"But there's no m-" Another kiss, happily returned and never more full of joy cut it off. Jame's arm slid around her waist and her suddenly tingly left hand slipped into his own.

"I don't care."

xxxXxxx

"Honestly I'm just relieved I didn't stuff it up!" James shouted over the din in the Leaky Cauldron as he was released from Remus' congratulatory hug and hearty clap on the shoulder. "And Sirius? You'll be my best man?"

"I'd be offended if you chose one of these other clowns." Sirius grinned and dodged Peter's elbow aimed at his ribs.

"Hey!"

"Blimey and here I thought you'd mess it up for sure. Like there was any doubt you'd be the first one to settle down, Prongs!"

Remus clapped him over the back of the head and raised his pint of beer high into the air. "A toast, to Prongs and to his bride-to-be!"

"May your life, and your _wife_ , never be dull, if you catch my meaning." Sirius winked, his cheeks already reddened with an hour of drinking, and his tact long having left the premises.

"Padfoot, even the _rats_ know what _you_ mean." James retorted and shot a glare that was not entirely good-natured. "Not that that's any business of yours-"

"I didn't get it…"

There was a brief pause in the laughter and, on Remus' part, eye rolling, where the three other Marauders all turned and stared at Peter with one eyebrow raised each. "I stand corrected." James finished and even Remus could not suppress his laughter when understanding dawned on Peter's face and he turned as red as Gryffindor's banners. "Oh."

"Remember, Sirius, not all of us have the same thing on the brain as you."

"Well maybe when you get over your fear of all things intimate and womanly you'll get it-"

"Must you be so crass?"

"Ah I'm just joking, Moony. No need to get your hackles up." Sirius snorted over another hefty mouthful of beer and elbowed the werewolf aside to sling an arm around James' shoulders. "I couldn't be happier for you and Evans, mate."

It was the small moments of normalcy like this, drinking and laughing and celebrating with his best, and indeed only, friends that made it easy to forget that this wasn't really the real world. That quite apart from werewolf discrimination and his own hardships, the world grew darker every day. Voldemort's forces grew ever bolder, and patrols from both the Order and the Ministry had doubled to provide some sort of defensive. They had, thanks in large to Peter and Sirius' animagi abilities that still remained secret even from Lily, foiled the Lestrange and Malfoys attempt on the life of the Minister himself, but they were still vastly outnumbered. A small mercy was that they had no idea how the information had gotten out, and with any luck at all might suspect a leak in their own side.  
For three months now Remus had kept his head down, his profile low and his frequent bouts of "illness" sufficiently hidden from his employer, only once, when his shift fell the morning after the full moon, had Periwinkle questioned his sallow and sunken appearance. He counted himself lucky he continued to hold a job.

But for now, for a few brief hours, he could pretend that his life was normal, that his friends didn't face danger every day fighting for right. He could even forget that the next full moon was only two days away. For now they could celebrate that one of them at least had found the way to his true happiness. For now they weren't undercover, or aurors in training, or secret werewolves, they were just young wizards enjoying themselves. Or so Remus had hoped.

No one paid heed as the London side door to the Leaky Cauldron opened. No one paid heed to the three cloaked figures who entered until a sharp bang sounded and red sparks filled the bar. Silence fell over the crowded inn and all eyes were drawn to the entrance. A sinking feeling of dread settled into Remus' gut and the grins they all wore died away. Even Sirius, half on his way to drunk, quickly seemed to sober up as he drew his wand instinctively. Several seated wizards rose to their feet slowly, Remus could see Benjy Fenwick in the corner, no taller standing than he was seated, Mundungus too was there, skulking in the corner but wand at the ready. With a flick of his wrist Remus' wand slid from his sleeve into his waiting palm and as one wands began to raise around the room.

"Stu-" But before the spell could get past its utterer's lips, two separate voices, hooded and masked, shouted faster, "Immobulus!"

The spell shot through the entire space, a great wave of blue magic that hit every person in the chest with the force of a thrown brick. Remus' wand arm froze mid air, half raised and free hand frozen in a fist at his side as he tried to force his legs to take a step and fight the spell. He could not even turn his head, his gaze fixed firmly on the intruders and only able to move his eyes. In his peripheral vision a muscle was twitching in James' jaw with the effort to break free and terror was flashing through Peter's eyes.

While his followers remained hooded and masked, their voices not ones that Remus could recognise, the central figure lowered his hood, he wore no mask. He did not need to fear recognition, he _thrived_ on it, and he could not blend with the crowd regardless. His features were far too unique. The fear in the room was palpable, Remus could actually name the scene of fear, it was not the usual sweat, it was clammy and musty and a particular pheromone that was only there when true terror sunk in.

Voldemort was tall, and pale, his skin had turned so white it was near translucent, veins ran visibly through his temple. He could not have always looked like that. Dark Magic changed you if you surrendered to it. His features, though all still definitively there, were distorted, somehow flatter and snake-like, the whites of his eyes were bloodied, and his dark hair had severely receded. He twirled his wand in long, thin fingers as he stepped, almost glided, through the crowd of frozen folk. "So few welcoming faces I see before me." He spoke in a high, icy cold voice that made the hair on the back of Remus' neck rise. "And so much fear. Your little Order is not so powerful now is it?" His eyes ghosted over the faces of those whose identities as Order members had been compromised, Benjy, Edgar… "I do not come to harm you." Voldemort drawled, " _All_ of you, at least. I come to _remind_ you of what comes of resisting the natural order of magic."  
Reddened eyes washed over the crowd, piercing everyone's in turn. Remus strained at the enchantment, willing with every fibre of his being to break it but to no avail. It could not hold much longer, not with only two wands against an entire bar. Voldemort was not even hiding anymore. How sure and bold he had grown that he himself ventured out into wizarding society.  
"Word has reached me of promising talent amongst you. Unnaturally so for sorcerers so young." There was a rush of cold air as the dark wizard appeared to glide through them, pushing aside immobile individuals. And then he was there, in front of them and the wolf inside Remus rose snarling until a quiet rumble rolled around in his throat, unbidden by him. He might as well have been invisible for all the notice the Dark Lord paid him, the evil eyes fixed solely on one of their number. James. Remus had to strain to keep his eyesight on them as Voldemort leered down at James who fixed him with a look of such seething hatred it would have made anyone else back off.  
"Great magical potential deserves recognition." Voldemort raised his wand and narrowed his eyes. "Potter, is it not?"

There was a moment, fleeting and unnoticed by any who were not watching for it, when James' frozen arm twitched, fighting the enchantment with a surprising strength. Then it broke, and, faster than casting a spell, his fist flew up and connected hard with the dark wizard's jaw. Duly taken aback, Voldemort had not time to dematerialise out of reach, and touched his own jaw with thin fingers as though he was unfamiliar with the concept of pain.

James was about to get himself killed standing there defiant with his wand outstretched facing down Voldemort himself.

But there was no flash of green, not even more than a collective gasp through the room as the Dark Wizard turned a reddened glare onto the young man before him. "I will not be so generous with my offers again." He coldly spoke and raised his wandless hand to his Death Eaters whose hands were shaking with the effort to maintain the spell. "Kill some without prejudice."

Remus felt the moment it snapped. It was like a weight had vanished from his chest and he could breathe fully again. There was chaos. The occupants of the Leaky Cauldron vastly outnumbered the Death Eaters, but fear had taken hold of most of them and instead of reaching for wands, they dove for cover instead. But many did spring to action. Benjy and Mundungus, Edgar, Tom the bartender, Alice and Frank who had until then gone unnoticed in the far corner of the room and, a handful of other witches and wizards, and the former Marauders all rained spell after spell as fast as they could against the Death Eaters. There was one flash of green light, but no time to see who the Killing curse had struck. Then the door blasted off its hinges and a dozen Aurors charged into the room. Among them Caradoc, and Sirius' mentor, a greying German wizard Ludwig Dunkel and, at the head, Moody.

Someone's wand went sailing through the air with a loud chorus of swearing as the Death Eaters immediately disapparated, at least one did, the other had been thrown to the floor, bound in enchanted cords and unable to reach his wand. Voldemort alone took the time to stare Moody down, a terrible and cruel smile on his face as he vanished into nothing and Peter had to dive to the floor to avoid the curse meant for Voldemort from hitting him instead.

There was a long, terrible moment of silence as they processed what had just happened. Remus turned and exchanged a grim expression with Sirius, until as one, half the room turned and stared at James with open-mouthed shock. Together, they voiced their shock.

"How the _hell_ did you do that?"

"You just punched the embodiment of evil in the face!"

He saw it. He understood completely now why Voldemort had singled out James to try and sway him. There was enormous untapped power there, and no shortage of will. It had been quite remarkable to watch.

"May you rot in Azkaban!" Moody's deep Scottish brogue snarled as he hauled the bound, and now stunned, Death Eater to his feet and roughly threw him into the custody of Caradoc and a witch with vibrant purple hair and stomped through the room, towards Tom who crouched in front of the bar beside an unmoving figure. "Who died?"

"She was 'idin and everything. Poor young thing."

The crowd parted, allowing the group of four to inch closer. The tallest of them by a solid half a head, Remus saw first and his breath caught in his throat. It was a young witch, eyes open and unseeing, she was only twenty-five, with auburn hair that was always braided and twisted into a bun. Her name was Vashti.

"What? You know her, Moony?"

"Yeah. I work-work _ed_ with her."

xxxXxxx

"Terrible thing. _Terrible_ thing…she was a lovely girl." Periwinkle lamented with heavy shoulders and rather downcast eyes. He'd been in shock since that morning when Remus arrived, ready to announce the news himself only to find the proprietor of Eeylop's reading it for himself in that morning's Prophet. Remus hadn't known Vashti well. Or really at all, they only crossed paths sometimes and once or twice shared the same shift, and he should not have been so surprised really. The realistic pessimist in him, which was...most of him, reminded him that by the end of this war, even if they came out victorious, plenty of people he knew would be dead. They signed up for this the moment they signed up for the Order of the Phoenix.

He pursed his lips flat and focussed on sweeping up the discarded owl pellets and feathers that littered the shop floor as Periwinkle gathered the galleons, sickles and knuts to deposit at Gringotts as he left.

"They said You-Know-Who himself was there, do you think that was true?"

"It's true, he was. I was there."

There was a loud clattering of coins as a handful of sickles fell to the floor and rolled away beneath the counter. "You didn't think to mention that, lad?"

"I thought I did." Replied Remus, truthfully, and slid his broom beneath the counter to push the lost coins out the other side.

"Frightening stuff, I'm sure. You stay safe there, Lupin, you hear me?"

"Of course." Remus forced a small smile as Goodborn swept the money into a small pouch and closed up the till.

"Now, I'm afraid I must call on you to stay late this evening, I wish to pop by Vashti's family and pay my condolences. You don't mind staying late do you?"

He did mind. He minded quite a lot. He was already clammy and pale and irritable with the full moon only a day away and he was already racking his brain for a good excuse to leave earlier tomorrow, now with one less person to cover for him, that would become much more difficult. But what reason could he give now? And his employer was away for the next day. So he just shook his head, his hair, far too long now for his liking, falling in front of his scarred face.

His boss clapped him on the shoulder as he stepped by, leaving the bell over the door to chime on his way out. As soon as he left Remus sighed and released a long groan of aching pain that he'd been suppressing for an hour. Everything hurt. It was worse this time than it usually was, he normally didn't feel _quite_ as terrible until the actual day of the full moon but this time it was like the symptoms were amplifying ten times. He ached to his bones. If he didn't know better he'd fear transforming here and now, but that was not possible. It was the full moon that made a werewolf, a werewolf. Placing down the broom, he set about checking the full and water dishes in each cage, careful to avoid his fingers being nipped by the temperamental owls and pausing to give an extra scratch on the head to the friendly ones.  
The bell tinkled again merrily, and as he turned to answer it, Remus cursed inwardly.  
Severus Snape stepped through the door.

Though it had hardly come as a surprise when Sirius and Peter had confirmed his presence at the gathering in Knockturn Alley, it did make Remus look at him differently. Now it was not just suspected Dark Magic, it was confirmed. Automatically his eyes went to Snape's arms, though like Remus he always wore long sleeves that covered to his wrists, searching for the tattoo that he was sure was there. But he could not give away that he himself was a part of the Order, even if in time their identities were sure to come out, if Snape knew, then he could easily tell the rest of them. And that would inevitably put their families in greater danger. Which brought to mind another thought. How far did Dumbledore's influence extend? Was Snape sworn to secrecy now they were no longer in school? Never mind amongst the Death Eaters, goodness knows Greyback knew anyway, but Snape could ruin any feeble life Remus clung to. When the former Slytherin looked up and met Remus' eyes, his expression mirrored the Gryffindor's and the hatred for Remus and what he was and had done seethed in Snape's black eyes as clearly as it had that fateful night years before. There was a long tense moment of silence between them, disturbed only by the owls, until Snape stalked forward, in his hands a large stack of envelopes which he deposited on the counter and coldly looked between them and Remus.

"Severus." Remus was the first to speak, a good deal more cordially than his friends might have done.

"Lupin." Snape icily replied, opting instead for the surname, a fresh reminder that they were not, and nor would they ever be, friendly. He took in Remus' sunken and sickly appearance and sneered, or as much of a sneer as Snape's mouth ever emoted. "Bad time of the month?"

"You don't look the picture of health yourself either." His tongue had retorted before his brain had time to think it through, the approach of the full moon bringing out the irritability in him. But Snape did not so much as blink a response.  
Remus wiped his sweaty and pellet covered hands on his uniform apron and stepped behind the counter. There were a lot of letters, all uniformly named and addressed in the same handwriting, he struggled to believe that Snape even had that many friends at all, but he could hardly talk in that department. "That's...a galleon and three sickles."

Two golden galleons slid across the counter as though it were part of an underground illegal trade. Remus swept them into his palm and the till opened with a small _ding_ as he retrieved fourteen sickles change.  
The tense transaction concluded, Remus inwardly released a held breath as Snape turned on his heel, his shoulder length ink black hair swinging with him, and strode back towards the door. A thought struck Remus, a subtle enough one that just might make some bit of difference.

"Snape. Much as you hate James, don't think Voldemort won't come after Lily."

Snape stopped for several seconds and though he stood motionless and did not so much as turn his head, Remus knew he had listened.


End file.
